The countdown is upon us and daytime TV is full of TV programmes telling us how to have the best Christmas dinner ever and how to make your dinner table look like something Harry Potter would be proud to sit at during a Hogwarts feast. Nothing wrong with that if you have all day to do it but the preference at Messy Towers is on getting the job done and doing it well with the minimum of fuss. You may find this approach leaves time to actually enjoy yourself rather than spending your day sweeping up the tiny little stars you have scattered over the table and getting butter out of your pine garland…or the pine needles from your butter, whichever. Here are ten tips for a stress free day.
- Don’t go overboard on expensive Champagne to greet guests with, try a Cava or Prosecco. Add a Cherry and/or a tiny dash of Creme de Cassis to give it the special look.
- Instead of buying luxury Christmas crackers stick with the “fortune teller fish” variety and place a lottery scratch card on each setting. Pre-dinner card scratching is a great ice-breaker.
- May be obvious but serve a cold starter, this can be prepared hours before kick off and put aside. Prawn cocktail or smoked salmon are the classics. Don’t buy farmed smoked salmon, use the money you saved on Champagne to buy wild salmon.
- Don’t worry about matching the wine to the course or having to buy the traditional Christmas wines. Everybody is flogging Châteauneuf-du-Pape and Chablis at the moment but there is no rule to say what you have to serve or there is no rule to say that expense is a measure of quality. Some of the lesser Chateauneufs, for which you will pay €15-20, can be overly aggressive.
- Do your roast potatoes in duck fat. Par boil the spuds for a few minutes, let them cool slightly, score the outside and roast. This is one fancification that is worth doing but make sure you put aside some regular roasters for your vegetarian sister.
- If you are not a Turkey fan, or do not care about having a giant carcass on the table for show, then get a scaled down version from your butcher. You can get a breast, crown or a rolled and boned version. These will actually fit in the oven and prevent you from having to get up and 5am to turn the oven on.
- Prepare the veg beforehand. Even better prep and cook the veg beforehand. Red cabbage or ratatoullie are great candidates to cook the night, or even a few days, before. Both will actually benefit from a few days in the fridge to give the flavours time to infuse. Do the stuffing the day before. Do the ham the day before.
- If people don’t like brussel sprouts then dispense with them. No amount of 7-Up or Cider or bacon or wood shavings will disguise the fact they are still sprouts.
- Same goes for Turkey. Turkey is turkey and no amount of brining, marinading, basting or whatever will disguise the fact. Do your best to keep it moist but dispense with overly complicated techniques. If you have enough stuffing and nice veg to go with it nobody will bother about three or four slices of turkey being a little dry. Effort versus return. This one is a bit subjective and really depends on how much value you put on the turkey.
- Don’t invite Tiger Woods if your porn star auntie is attending.
To sum up in three words, “keep it simple”.
Happy Christmas.




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